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donniecox
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Name: donnie
Country: United States
State: Michigan
Metro: Flint
Birthday: 11/13/1986
Gender: Male
Interests: Things that are shinny, candles, pine cones, ribbons, books, electricity, blankets, heather, and songs.
Expertise: peach fuzz, smelling good, blue, looking, dreaming...
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
11/24/2005
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I should be sleeping...I can't. And since there are a few...very few, who subscribe to this non-sense I calll a blog...like every few months, I thought i'd "talk".
I'm really digging "chick" music lately. I've been listening to Patty Griffen, Eisley and Imogen Heap. I feel like bruning my bra. J/K.. i need it, no no i mean its not that kind of music. I just find it funny that my brain goes through cycles and the juke box in my head longs for the simple days when Alanis would be screaming from under my sister's bedroom door.
I miss her (my sister). I haven't spoken with her in some time. No reason. Just haven't. I was kissing my girlfriend tonight and did the worst thing you could do while doing such a thing. I thought about another girl. Who you ask? She's got long brown hair. The cutest button nose and eyes so beautiful they make Angelina look like Janet Reno. I'm talking about my niece Madison. Now of course your next question would be "why would you think of her at that time?" No you shouldn't pray for me...im not crazy...maybe I found God in that moment. And since he has created everything...one of his best creations came to mind. I've been finding him in the oddest of places lately. In the little by with scars on his face at the mall. I found it soooo hard to look at him. But I saw him. In the angry voice of a mother on the other end of a phone call i was "sitting in on". She told her daughter to "shut the Fcuk up". So harsh. It hurt. It hurt sooo bad. But he is there.
Reading a book this week brought this to mind. I love it when a missionary says: "We are taking Jesus to a different part of the world then ever before". As if God has never been there. As if he needs us to invite him to see the land and give him the grand tour. He was on the other end of the phone. "how?"
he has created everything. everything bears his name. it is us that miss him. My prayer that day was that the family struggling with the mother addicted to cocaine, that she would see Jesus...who is there...in me, the next time i see her. That he is SEEN in me. Heard. Watched. Experienced. So she will begin to see him in her home. in her pain. and live, not "right", but as she was meant to live.
Gerry moved out? Mikes getting married tomorrow? Soulia;s gettin; hitched? WTH???? Next Jim Pope and Carl Montrosse? It's like the earth just started spining faster. So much has happened since i last let one of these blogs escape. It's almost 1am and i have to get up at 5. so I think this one might be comming to a close. but let me leave you with this...Surely God looked at what he had created and said
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"it is good".
Grace and Peace
donnie
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| Tonight is one of those nights where nothing seems right. I can't sleep. I can't think. I can't sing. I can't cry. I can't scream. I can't write. Nothing fits. Everything hurts...like today when the man on the other side of the counter just laughed at me when all my efforts to make him happy failed. I feel so out of place...like I'm on the other side of a plate glass window and I'm screaming "what are you doing to yourself?" Even Paul said sometimes he just felt like he was just there....just lived....just did.....Like his hand was forced.
I talked to a lady today about Bush and the Ports being taken over from the Arab nations. She felt that this was surely a sign that Jesus would be here in the morning and that with one drink of kool-aid we'd be breaking bread with the king himself....Elvis that is...But seriously, the thought of sharing anything with a nation other than England was nothing but pure adultery to ourselves. I thought about it for a while and then asked the woman, a "devout" Christian, if people in Iraq would be considered our neighbors? Why not?...I thought to myself...as said before....Jesus did not die for white, middle class, republicans only...at least thats what I thought....
I recieved a phone call from my old friend Stan the man Emerson last night. He offered us the chance to do our own Lay Witness Mission in Troy, but I had to say no due to the upcoming CD release party for Jake Randall....which is very good might I add. You should check out his myspace and listen to the insanely high background vocals I have to match live.....not bad at the end...wow.http://myspace.com/jakerandall | | |
| Tonight is one of those nights where nothing seems right. I can't sleep. I can't think. I can't sing. I can't cry. I can't scream. I can't write. Nothing fits. Everything hurts...like today when the man on the other side of the counter just laughed at me when all my efforts to make him happy failed. I feel so out of place...like I'm on the other side of a plate glass window and I'm screaming "what are you doing to yourself?" Even Paul said sometimes he just felt like he was just there....just lived....just did.....Like his hand was forced.
I talked to a lady today about Bush and the Ports being taken over from the Arab nations. She felt that this was surely a sign that Jesus would be here in the morning and that with one drink of kool-aid we'd be breaking bread with the king himself....Elvis that is...But seriously, the thought of sharing anything with a nation other than England was nothing but pure adultery to ourselves. I thought about it for a while and then asked the woman, a "devout" Christian, if people in Iraq would be considered our neighbors? Why not?...I thought to myself...as said before....Jesus did not die for white, middle class, republicans only...at least thats what I thought....Where did all the love go?
I received a phone call from my old friend Stan the man Emerson last night. He offered us the chance to do our own Lay Witness Mission in Troy, but I had to say no due to the upcoming CD release party for Jake Randall....which is very good might I add. You should check out his myspace and listen to the insanely high background vocals I have to match live....."not bad" at the end...wow.http://myspace.com/jakerandall
I guess looking at this blog makes me feel worse than when I started...its full of pain and its all together dark...I just know that I can't be the only one who ever feels like this....
thoughts..... | | |
| I currently sitting in a hotel in Kalamazoo enoying my much needed day off. It isn't offten that we don't play on Saturday morning when doing a retreat, but we have the entire day off! We play tonight at 6:00. We have a great group out with us this weekend. Tim drove up from olivet and Gerry came down to help out with electric. We seemed to go over well last night. Lots of new faces and names to try and remember. It's good to be back in the swing of things after being off for a couple weeks from Texas. It seems like that was so long ago for some reason. One thing I know for sure...it's good to be in the same time zone as home. It's hard keeping in touch when everyone is asleep!
I visited the nicest Denny's in the world last night. My month had never experienced such a harmonious explosion of flavor until last night. How I long for them to bring one back home! Today's lunch will bd's Mongolian BBQ. What a weekend!
Oh, and by the way...Heather, if you read this...I love you and I miss you. Thank you for supporting me and encouraging me to pursue my music. You are a gift from God.
Have a great day everyone! | | |
| im writting this for the third time because my computer thinks it funny not to post what I write...so if this sounds like a book report and not a journal...please excuse...
Texas was awesome. We drove...yup drove down to do worship for the weekend. Hereford is about 40 minutes away from Amorillo and the entire town smells like Shog. It was so wonderful to see everyone I love and meet new people as well. It gave me lots of time to think about things. Texans are so different....everything from humor to the special vocab only they can decode....I mean why don't you just ask for a Dr. Pepper? Not everything is coke!
I really learned a lot about myself on this trip. I got me out of my routine...and comfortable as it has been...I must admit it was wonderful to get back out on the road again.
Heather and I will have been together 5 months in a few days. I can't believe how fast it has gone. I've learned so much about love in the last few months. Some of it has been hard to swallow and shown me where I fall short in loving everyone around me. Some of it has shown me that I'm not such a sleezy, no good, rotten, snake after all. Either way, no matter how I feel about me....heather, well, she's wonderful....
Derek's new "mockingbird" is out. It has totally reshaped the way I think about everything about God, love, money, poverty, polotics, friendship, fogiveness....he covers it all. I keeping thinking to myself "I don't want to change based on an idea that he has or just to be like derek or rich mullins"...but then a song will pop in my head when I need to exercies something normally hard for me and I find myself was wanting the homeless guy at the corner of I-69 and Center rd to be there so that this time I won't act like he's not there.
chew on that for a while... | | |
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